And when I think I’m getting better..
..what comes my way but more hurt and pain at the apparent fact that had I.. said something, anything, I could have had a chance to avoid all of this.. all of this shit I have felt. My mind races back to that moment.. when she was walking out the door.. she... she thought I gave up.. she presented the whole thing as a hopeless scenario.. that i had lost over a week ago. If I had known that the decision was still up in the air.. if i had known that i could've saved it.. there is so much that i would have done..
And then I.. I jumped to conclusions. I made something out of nothing. I made a big fucking something out of nothing. Get ready to punch me in the face everyone, but.. I believe her when she says nothing happened with him. She.. explained her reasons again.. better this time...
there is so much that i would still do...
i miss her
i fucked up