I’ve got it in my head these past few days that I should get a haircut, but I have no idea what I would do. I liked it when it was short like it was almost precisely a year ago. I also love having the long bangs that come down the side of my face. I miss how my hair would look after I waited for the El on the platform and after I walked to work during the summer. The wind shaped my hair very nicely and I just don’t have that anymore. I could emulate the look with hair stuff and a hairdryer, I’m sure, but that a) requires money and b) requires time that would make me feel like a girl. Neither of which is all that desirable. We’ll see what happens, if anything I need at least a trim and to bring the back up a little bit more than the rest. Though that might end up looking gay or extra-feminine. I don’t know. And it’s pretty much decided that I have to keep some sort of goatee going, because otherwise I look far too feminine in the face. I just have to figure out how long I want to keep the thing and then how to keep it that long. All I’ve always done is let it get stupid long and then shave it all off.
I constantly have dreams about my bottom front tooth being loose and falling out. Last night I had one about all of my bottom front teeth being loose. And to quite a degree, too. It was very unnerving. I finally had that wake-from-a-dream-into-another-dream situation too. I was running around some warehouse and felt my teeth loose. I woke up and was laying in bed, and tried playing with my teeth, they were still loose. I woke up again and all was fine. I don’t recall if this was the final time I woke up.
I talked with Jacki a few hours ago. I think my attitude change helped a lot. She said some things that hurt me, but only because she felt/is that way now because of the things I said a week ago that hurt her. I would rather her tell me the truth though. Neither of us knows what’s going to happen from here, but I feel a lot better right now. In the end I have learned a lot that is bound to serve me well and that’s what life is about.. growing.
Now to eat some food and play some Kirby.