sugardeath

How are youu?

I had a dream last night. It involved there being four of us old school usher leads from the Forum, but at IIT. I was walking back to the MSV with Grace for some reason when she went off in another direction. I looked back and she had turned into Jamie, at which point I saw Jesse, whom we had passed at the entrance (she was mopping something up there), walk up and ask her if she was alright. Jesse and Jamie were best buds. As I was walking up the stairs to Grad, I passed Adam Kennedy, on his way to work I guess. He was in his blue lead uniform. So was I. So were Jesse and Jamie. I looked down at my shirt, my nametag had somehow fallen off the pin. It was upsetting.

So I ended up visiting the LAN for a couple of hours. Jason got his word program working. His initial goal was to figure out if spark goes to clear because I guess a bunch of them were trying to do it back at school and couldn’t. It does:

spark shark shard chard chart chert cheat cleat clear

Other things that work (read as word a goes to word b, it’s funnier that way):
greg -> cock (also the inverse)
cock -> taco (cock taco is a funny phrase)
star -> wars (with some weird military (american and british if i recall) acronyms)
cocks -> mouth (teehee)

The worst one was
tony -> cock

In three steps (four words total, including my name): tony -> cony -> conk -> cock

Absolutely terrible. Jason doesn’t go to cocks OR penis, though. Nate was five steps away from cock.

Jason DOES go to butts though. In like five or six steps I believe.

The reason for our crudeness? Lack of sleep and general immaturity.

Ryan agreed to be my New Year’s kiss as long as I grab his ass. I think we can work something out.

I had good reasons for protesting the LAN. Jacki was way too excited when I showed up. Andrew agreed with my reasons for protesting, but still allowed that bullshit? What? Too bad Andrew is a hard word to play with. What is a six letter synonym for penis?

As we were leaving Macaroni Grill earlier today, Jason asked me why I post some of the things I do with the audience that I have. Hm. The real problem is that I post this stuff on the internet and will therefore never ever know who my COMPLETE audience is. IP logs can only say so much. Yes, it is a little weird having my father, mother, aunt (and therefore also uncle?), and two brothers read this thing. It gets out, though. “Yeah, mom, I just ordered a domain and hosting for my website. No I will not tell you what the website is.” That would have gone over well. :-/ It’s alright, though. I just try to forget about it. The real problem is when people talk to me about my site or bring up things I have not told them but they read. I think Dad is the worst: His homepage is my site. I cringe a little whenever I bring up Netscape on his computer. Jason suggested I IP and User Agent filter him. That’s a bit harsh. OK, write a PHP script to block certain categories from him (also other family members). Um, I’m lazy. :-/ Whatever, though. I guess it’s a way for some people to keep in touch, so to speak. It’s not like I really talk to anyone from home too often when I’m in Chicago. Well, there are a couple lucky ones.

I know that some people from Ford read this thing. I know that some people from IIT read this thing. People on both coasts of this country read this thing. People are reading my journal. Lots of ‘em. I try not to think about it. I recently gave webspace to my group of friends from IIT. When they saw that they were given a subdomain, I’m sure most if not all of them checked to see what was at the real domain. I probably got a few more readers that way. I probably got a few people to think slightly differently of me. Whether they think better or worse of me really doesn’t matter. I figure that at a certain point, you really just need to ignore most (not all) people and most (not all) of what they think of you. So what if so-and-so over there thinks I’m weird for doing this-or-that. Whatever. I do things because I a) enjoy them or b) have to. If someone is going to look down on me for that, screw them. I like me for who I am, not what other people want me to be, and will continue to be and do who and what I want.

I speak my mind a lot on here. This is my journal. That’s what it’s here for. That said, sometimes I’ll say too much. I know that I have upset people with things I have posted on here. Something with Nate (not the same one from the LAN) a few years back. Alyssa got upset at me (at least I don’t think she was joking) for something I posted a month or two ago. And other people. Bah! Whatever to you! My site. My journal. My thoughts. My words. Stop me. I dare you.

That said. I still do censor myself. There are things I keep in unpublished, hidden posts. I have this post that I have been adding to here or there for almost a year now. It deals with things. Speaking of which, I don’t think I’ve updated it recently. I accidently posted it to the site. I caught my mistake just as I commited it. I told Nicole of this. After I pulled it back down. …Sometimes you do something so stupid that you just have to tell someone.

There are things I don’t even write on here, but keep in hidden directories on my computer. Hidden files in hidden directories in normal looking directories in hidden directories. I could just archive them and password them for more security, but I’m lazy. I wrote… a lot when Linda broke up with me. She received some of these, or rather very succinct versions of them. Others no one has read. No one will read. They’re there so that when I clean out my harddrive I can run across them, read them, and then punch myself in the face for being so stupid.

I wonder how much of that was coherent?

Too long, didn’t read: I don’t care what you think of me when you read this, fuck you. Don’t tell me you read this, fuck you. Don’t bring up things you read on here, fuck you. This is my journal, I do what I want with it, fuck you.

But there are a few of you with whom I will talk freely about this here webbermajig and its contents and not care. My close friends. You should know if you are so lucky because we would have already conversed as such in the past (and not about the stupid computer and other geeky posts, but the real ones).

I guess what Jason said really got stuck in my head. This is my way of getting it out. Also to push off some of the orgasming-over-technology and Stephanie-emo posts.

“Verbal ejaculation” is possibly my favorite phrase in the English language. I read it in a book quite sometime ago and it has stuck with me. It is used to describe when someone blurts something out without thinking. I do this a lot. I get called “dick,” “asshole,” “meany,” “meany-face,” and the most recent (as of tonight) “mean guy [boy?].” Whatever. Most of the time I’m joking. I accidently called Alyssa a “whore” today while we were playing chess. She set up this series of moves that ended up hurting me pretty badly. And there was nothing I could do (that I saw, anyway; I’m horrible at chess). I called her a “whore”. That is my default insult as of late. Actually, it is the default insult for Phil, Corey, and myself when we play Smash Brothers. I don’t know where it came from, but it’s used when someone does something ridiculous or strings together crazy combos or rapes you in anyway. Just like Alyssa raped me in chess She was really good at Smash Brothers tonight though. Also she looked really pretty with her eye shadow (?) and glasses. But then I just have a thing for girls in glasses.

I have reading files from the SD card’s FAT filesystem on the DS down. File reading is not a problem. It’s the writing. It keeps printing null characters to my file and therefore throwing it off when it reads the file. If I format the file properly on the computer (or with another DS app), it reads it fine. But if I save it with my app, it breaks.

I played Ryan’s game at the LAN and it got me thinking of simple, fun games I could program on the DS. I think I burned myself out with the GBA final project and therefore really do not have the drive to port that to the DS.

I got shorted a soft taco from taco bell.

Christmas is close. It does not feel like Christmas time. I call shenanigans. Shenanigans! Shillelagh!

Nicole: and;’>and i thought she was awesome until she started to annoy me; the fact that this timng coincided with your fail doesn’t make me a hypocrate

Meh.

Rawr. With the M3Real arriving in a few days hopefully, I decided to set up the coding environment. I installed devkitPro, devkitARM, libnds, and PAlib. PAlib feels SO much like HAMlib (which we used for the GBA) that it’s gonna be damn easy converting my little game engine to the DS I’ve got a little thing going right now where you can drag around using the stylus and it’ll tell you the X and Y of the stylus as well as what buttons you are currently pressing. It will also grab the time and user name from the DS system. I am currently running this through the no$gba emulator via WINE; it is working surprisingly well. I cannot WAIT to get this on some actual hardware

HAMlib had a flag called F_CTRL_INPUT_START_PRESSED. PALib uses Pad.Newpress.Start. I can also do Pad.Held.Start. That’ll make things easy! And then, of course, there’s PA_SpriteTouched(spritenumber) to see if a sprite is currently being touched. No need to see if Stylus.X and Stylus.Y (real values!) are within the sprite’s boundaries, the library does it for me! Hahaha! I am sooooo excited! I’ve currently got a bunch of text on the top screen and the sprite and a tiny bit more text on the bottom screen. It is NEAT.