Some thing I had to do for some thing at school
I was assigned to read the first three chapters of Daniel Gilbert's Stumbling on Happiness and write about something that interested me. Rereading my paper it sounds more like I summarized his key points, but because "write about something that interested me" was awfully vague... I'm hoping it'll work. I do like that I was able to provide a little insight into my own thinking as well as show that I do not agree with everything Gilbert says. There is a lot I could have expanded upon, especially at the end of the paper, but a) I felt the paper was kinda long already, b) I don't have much time left for the paper, and c) I have no how I would expand upon it (I just know that it needs it). All that said, I really enjoy my writing style in this piece. And the book was actually slightly interesting. I have the whole thing in audiobook, so I technically listened to the first three chapters instead of reading them, but it's the same thing in the end. The audiobook I have is read by the author and he does a pretty good job of it. I might finish listening to it at some point.
I made scrambled eggs yesterday morning, they were running due to too much milk. I put sharp cheddar in them. Good stuff. I made eggs again this morning, but this time I put in some Oscar Meyer turkey and about two to three quarters tablespoon of taco seasoning. It was actually pretty good, though something else needed to go in to kind of play with the taco seasoning flavor a bit, I think.
I have four mornings left here, I have been using three eggs each time I make them, and there are a dozen eggs in the fridge. I think I'm set. I just need more things to try. Things I have been suggested that I could actually do:
- chili powder
- chili
- butter (in the egg mix)
- cheese, olives, crushed tortilla chips
- salsa
- flour (for firmer eggs)
- various spices around the kitchen
I also had a thought when my mom was preparing her breakfast this morning: hot chocolate powder. Just enough to add some flavor to it. I mean, I already put syrup on my eggs if they're plain, so why not add another sweet flavor to the mix?
As if that wasn’t enough..
I wonder how much I posted during my last serious bout of tonsillitis.. if it gets as bad again.. I don't think I'll be posting much at all (due to, you know, being dead and all again). My tonsils definitely started.. feeling funny earlier yesterday. Well, the mere fact that I could feel them when swallowing is a scary, scary problem. I am not going to class tonight.. Might as well see if I can get some extra sleep in tonight...
I had a dream somewhere between midnight-thirty and four in the afternoon.. It was pretty neat.. I was getting a late meal at some.. fast food place in a mall. The mall was closing yet I could still somehow get up to the second floor, so I took my food up there. There was a pool on the second floor, just right in the middle, so I swam for a bit and then decided to wander around on the third floor. The third floor, at least along the entire back wall, was someone's house. I ended up hiding in a room that looked and felt strangely like David's at my dad's house because the father figure was looking for whatever was causing all the noise I was making.. ..Just now I realized I've had this dream before. Well, not this one, but it did take place in this same mall-type place and I do recall being in that "house" on the third floor before. I'm pretty sure the pool was more elabroate last time with like water slides and stuff (as well as people because the mall was open last time). I also recall going up to the fifth floor where a bunch of clothing shops were. I think I was running from something last time? I can't remember too well. I don't remember when I last dreamed this place...
I wonder if there's some sort of emotional-physical tie-in to my tonsillitis? The first time I got it, the last week of this most recent Christmas break.. I don't think there was anything emotionally jarring. No.. I think I was pretty well off in that regard. The second time was almost a week or so after Nicole broke up with me. A bunch of us went to Noodles and Co. for dinner on the Wednesday during Spring Break. I started feeling slightly ill following that.. and the next week and a half / two weeks were me laying dead in my room. The third time was a brief little scare during the summer, shortly after I started working. I attribute that one to a new work environment and a nasty, nasty keyboard. And now here I am.. just two days after Jacki broke up with me and my tonsils are swelling a little... I haven't had any food or anything that would possibly do this.. Though maybe all that booze and the subsequent vomiting could probably be a cause... I just hope it doesn't get as bad again..
I e-mailed Erica at the reg. office to tell her that I will NOT be able to work this semester.. seeing as how I'm having a hard time making it to my classes to begin with.. adding a job into the mix is just a bad idea. I'll just have to stop.. buying things.
I.. sent Jacki a hugely long message on Facebook... Still waiting for a reply.. (I'm not holding out for one, honestly) Basically the reason I am so upset is that.. after I got to thinking about her reasons or breaking up with me.. they all point to her having lied to me. About.. well, a few different things. I detailed it all in the letter. I.. am not going to do what I did when Linda broke up with me and just let loose here on my site. That was immature of me.
Oh "Compare People" Facebook App.. I just got an email with the subject "Anthony, here are your hottest single friends."
* "Who is hotter"
1. Alyssa Grant (210 points, voted 261 times) Go figure
2. Lisa Stanley (135 points, voted 184 times)
3. Shana Hartel (100 points, voted 144 times) Worked with her.. pretty cool gal
4. Linda Goldstein (195 points, voted 639 times)
5. Jennifer Arlene Priehs (87 points, voted 135 times)
If my tonsils don't get any better this week, I'll make an appointment at the health center for the end of this week or the beginning of next week, whichever is available.
Her arguments were really just kind of flaky, especially given all that we had talked about leading up to and during our relationship. So either she gave me bullshit arguments.. which, no, she did give me bullshit arguments (really, you should've heard them). But that also means that most of what she said to me.. wasn't real, wasn't how she felt, wasn't what she believed in. I was sad Friday night / Saturday morning. I was angry Sunday after thinking more about it, and now I am just.. bleh.
I mean, really, what am I doing wrong? Should I stop the nice guy routine? Should I stop caring about the girl so much? I just want them to be happy! "Yeah.. I know.. that's why I'm talking to you about this.." ..because my wanting you to be happy means I am a pushover and will let you go without a fight...? I never have the words to argue or say what I want to say during any such situation. It's always afterwards that I find them.. and by then it's too late. ..Well, with Jacki I have a feeling it was too late a week ago. I remember having a really paranoid, bad feeling shortly before our one month... Jeremy talked me out of it, but it seems like.. it was well founded, yeah? I had another dread feeling when she got here, when she was hesitant to kiss me. Same feeling I had shortly before Nicole broke up with me..
Jeremy got me booze and someone to complain to. Linda got me someone to complain to and a hug. Nicole got me cookies and someone to complain to. Amber got me a hug. Corey and Phil got me Giordonno's pizza. Jason and Alyssa let me bitch and moan to them. I'm glad I've got friends to put up with my whining like this. Though.. I'd rather not have to rely on them for.. whining...
There was just a squirrel fight outside. Awesome.
I guess the reason I always end up falling so hard (and subsequently getting hurt so hard... everytime :neutral: ) is that I have a particular life philosophy that pertains to situations like these... I think I heard it from Celeste?
If you're not going to love with all your heart, why love?
I mean.. it makes sense, right? Or maybe I'm just stupid...
Anyway, it's dinner time. I think overall I'm actually handling this pretty well. I just hope my tonsils do too..
unhappy
My modules disappeared upon first boot. Then they came back somehow. WTF
I had another dream last night. I was explaining to Jason and Andrew's parents how they could get to Chicago with the Uhaul as the three of us were getting ready to go in my car.
Dreams == wtf
My first dream took place at work. I was just getting ready to close the building and leave for the night when this weird limo car with a spoiler on the back pulled up to the doors in the hallway to C Section. Grace, Mary, Galina, Alex, and someone else (not from school) all got out of the car. We went driving.. places. I do not remember where.
The second was in some kind of mall place. Elyse was running her own deli type thing that was very successful. In another area of the mall Matt was hanging out with some friends. Apparently Jen knows Matt too. Matt, being Matt, gave me a huge hug.
I was hoping I would wake up in my dorm room, but I guess that is too much to ask, ya know?
The Pirate Says ARRRR
I greatly approve of Laurie's most recent e-mail to the staff:
Hello Everyone!
It seems that everyone and their brother wants Memorial Weekend off. Well, no can do! That weekend is Pirates!! You may request a single day or portions of the day off. But the chances of getting the Entire weekend off is slim to none. If you are scheduled you can always try to get someone to cover your shifts, People have been begging for hours. Welcome to the life at the theatre. Weekends and holidays are our busy times. Everyone was informed! If this is going to pose a problem with you or family nows the time to reconsider your employment with us.Thanks,
Laurie
Last sentence = gold. Laurie is awesome like that.
So, real work starts Friday.. morning? One would think that I would be working Friday NIGHT, opening night of Shrek 3. Apparently not. I get to open! Yayay. Nine-fifteen is really early. It is a school day, why are we opening so early? I work at noon on Saturday, open again the next Wednesday, and finally work Thursday night. Once school lets out I should have quite a few more shifts.
Talked with Corey, Jason (home Jason; from now until September, all instances of the word "Jason" will refer to the Jason that lives in Sterling Heights, MI), and Nicole tonight. Galina and Ragu barely. Apparently telling Nicole that Corey does not like Pink Floyd was a bad move... Meh. Provided humor.
Home has been pretty lame lately. Not much to do. It will be great once/if gas prices go down and I get more work shifts. I worked maintenance Tuesday morning, skipped Wednesday for not feeling well, may or may not go in Thursday morning. Mom said she was taking the shifts out, I still have Thursday's. We'll see. I cannot wait for the real work to start. Stupid outdoors work. Woodchips can bite me.
I wonder if driving mom's truck up the curb as I did did anything to the suspension...
Once the kiddies get out of school, then will there be more fun to be had. Brian's graduation party should be pretty cool, too. Just need to find a volleyball net, or improvise somehow...
So, yeah, some things (everything) are (is) weird, but, honestly, what do you expect? I can't quite easily fall into the happy-go-lucky-let's-pretend-nothing-ever-happened ideology.
...
Because I do not feel like talking (and because it was an interesting discussion Jason and I were having):
(12:18:19 AM) Jason: i was wondering if your style changed so drastically depending on the topic
(12:18:19 AM) itstonylol: happy vs. angry?
(12:18:22 AM) Jason: no
(12:18:28 AM) itstonylol: it changes based on mood + event
(12:18:31 AM) itstonylol: how i reacted to the event, i guess
(12:19:52 AM) itstonylol: like the writing style of... well, happy events with linda makes me embarrassed
(12:20:28 AM) itstonylol: whereas when I write about the things that make me angry, the writing style is actually quite polished and presentable
(12:20:43 AM) itstonylol: things like linda... <_ <
(12:21:18 AM) Jason: hehe
(12:21:36 AM) itstonylol: ugh
(12:21:36 AM) itstonylol: wtf
(12:21:47 AM) Jason: hm/
(12:21:48 AM) Jason: ?
(12:21:50 AM) itstonylol: her
(12:21:51 AM) itstonylol: lol
(12:22:10 AM) itstonylol: feeling "emotionally" abandoned by me
(12:22:11 AM) itstonylol: wtf
(12:22:15 AM) itstonylol: er
(12:22:24 AM) itstonylol: quotes around eihter abandoned or both emotionally and abandoned
(12:22:28 AM) itstonylol: either*
(12:22:44 AM) itstonylol: of course she is, she broke up with me
(12:22:46 AM) itstonylol: way to go
(12:23:44 AM) Jason: quote that on your blog
(12:23:47 AM) Jason: for truth
(12:23:53 AM) itstonylol: -_-
(12:25:19 AM) itstonylol: i would
(12:25:20 AM) itstonylol: but
(12:25:21 AM) itstonylol: i dunno
Two things in there, the second is pretty self-explanatory: I have noticed differences in my writing style. Previous that snippet, Jason had asked me if I still kept private journals. I do, from time to time. Depending on the topic, I will either type up the entry as an unposted entry on my site, or as an ASCII file on my harddrive. (I remember having a talk with dad years back in which he made fun of "English majors" (he always thought I was going to major in English) and griped about the fact that we cannot refer to one thing the same way if we must talk about it several times.. I am having a tough time forcing myself to keep "type up the entry as an unposted entry..." only because I cannot think of something to replace the first entry with.) I have quite a few text files that formed within the past... three months on Saturday. These ones have never seen the internet. I really do like the writing style in them. Especially the most recent. It is refined. I took my time to look over it. Why? All the happier ones, as I said to Jason, make me want to vomit. I just cannot stand to read those posts, yet those are the ones I let the world see. I look them over just the same, but I can never make them sound all that great. At least to me.
And for the record, I despise the word "blog." It is either my journal or the "blag." (http://www.xkcd.com/) Blag more for making fun of people who use the term blog.
I did not start a blog, I may have started a web log (of which the laziness of people led to the shortening), but I most definitely started a journal. It just so happens to be on the internet.
Grades do not equal too happy, but at least they are better than they could have been.
That will most likely be the last school related thing until mid-August. Sweet!